Fat Princess
Released: July 30th, 2009
Developer: Titan Studious
Publisher: Sony
Genre: Strategy/Action
Here we go, the amazingly hyped PSN exclusive game, Fat Princess. But is eating all that cake really worth it?
The short answer, yes! Fat Princess is very simple. The game doesn't even need a story, but they put one in to the single player anyway. It starts off with the King looking for his daughter (the red team princess, the one in the pink in the above picture) and he finds her in a forest with the other princess (blue team's) and they're both bloated up. They discover that both princesses had been stuffing themselves silly with cake. The King bans the cake, to try to slim his daughter down. Panicked, the King finds out his daughter refuses to eat anything but the cake. So it's then known, that the cake is cursed.That's pretty much the story, but like it matters. This game is 1% singleplayer and 99% online. The story mode is more of a tutorial, so it's recommended you play that first. There is also the option of playing with bots. (They are referred to as "Imaginary Friends") The hilarity is everywhere. Through the narrator's voice, to the way the units look, to what the units say, to ...everything. On the main menu itself. I was looking at the menu, and there a choice of Playing with Others, or Playing with Yourself. The options can be confusing on what they do.
For example, the Whose Your Daddy option. It's merely the credits. But even those are awesome. You play as a Grim Reaper, and get to go around killing everybody in this arena. You can't be harmed, this little guy is dancing in the corner, and Baby Got Back plays as the music in the background. That, is so fucking awesome. That's just the credits too.
The game is played in top down view (also you may zoom closer if you like) The controls are stupidly simple. You use a total of maybe 4 buttons. You move around, kill the opposing team, capture outposts, collect wood, or get cake. Hat machines are set around in your base, they pop out hats. Putting on the hats will make you 1 of 5 classes (think Mario). One class, is the mage who can fire magical spells to harm the enemy. Another is the priest, who can heal your team or suck the life out of the others. The warriors puts enemies down with his weapons. The worker goes to build bridges and collect minerals (you have to cut the tree or mineral spot, pick it up and take it back to a hat machine), and throw bombs. And finally, the ranger puts the beat down on your enemies with a bow or a gun. Each class is fun to play and very balanced.
All the character classes may be upgraded, and get different goodies added. You can switch to another class whenever you feel like. When an opponent dies, you can even take their hat and become whichever class they were. They're 10 maps (there is more now, as the game has been patched and more maps and options have been added) and 3 different modes. One mode, the one that's basically the game, is to go rescue your own princess, or to go steal the enemy's princess. To make the princess harder to steal, you can go around (no matter what class) get cake, and give it to them to eat. Thus, they become fatter, and harder to carry.
Think of the game as capture the flag, only the flag is a girl. Another mode is a Team Deathmatch. The final mode is Invasion, where you have to go around getting outposts. Outposts are these towers spread about the level. If your team controls one, you may hide on top of it, and only rangers and mages can harm you. The worker can also throw resources there, instead of having to run back to the base, and throwing them at the hat machines. The more you hold, the more points you get. The team with the most points wins, sort of like domination mode for Unreal Tournament. Although all the modes are fun, the ones with the actual princesses are the most played.It's just creative how people will break into other's castles. You can just attack the main doors, find a sneaky way in, use a ladder, and even catapult in. Players can communicate with voice chat. Then blood and gore splatters everywhere, and everyone is in a rush to go pick up the princess and rush out. Which becomes impossible because the opposite team has fed her full and it'll take 3 of your guys to move her at a good speed. The sheer number of players (up to 31) all moving, and trying to get the princess; makes this a priceless gift. The narrator is fun to listen to, the humor in this game is everywhere. The music is smooth and fits the game. If you're running around your castle, the princess will sometimes ask for cake or complain of being hungry. You may also request other players (or imaginary friends) to help you, or tell them you don't need help. Very simple stuff!
The game keeps track of what you've done, and puts it in a statistics menu for you. It's extremely detailed, going for both singleplayer and multiplayer games. Your character can also be customized. You may choose hair style, hair color, eye color, voice, beard style, and skin color. The game tells you when you've unlocked new colors and styles.I really really really really really really really really really wish I could end it with "WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS?!?! GO GET IT AND PLAY THE PISS OUT OF IT RIGHT NOW!!!" But I can't. I can't find any other real flaws with it. I mean, kids will like it because it seems kiddy and it's simple. Adults will like the humor and how complicated you can force it to be. And some people don't care if it's seen as kiddy or adult only, and will enjoy it anyway...but it has 1 big major problem.
It's tiring, I mean, I just want to play. This game is amazing. But...with the online broken...that's just crap. You can't even get the trophies without playing online. There is no split-screen multiplayer either. So the only true option is to play with the bots. But that's so boring, they're predictable.. It's always more fun to play with actual people, and have fun shit happen.
This game is pure awesome. + Simple fun
+ Surrounded with humor
+ Unique ideas
+ Good Community
+ Encourages People to play Online
- oh god...the online....
- *cries*
- the few bugs are fatal
- it could get boring/matches can be long
Fat Princess gets a 4.7.
