Temple Guardian

I went back and read the comments and the old post. Wow. That's a pretty terrible post. So I decided to re-do it. There are a few things to keep in mind. First, I don't spend day and night playing Starcraft. That means I DON'T know all the special tricks and such while playing. Second, I am not counting any shuttling units, detectors, or the basic gathering/building units. I know they have little differences, but I just don't want to count them. Third, you will more than likely not agree. Starcraft is a great game; most of it's units are balanced. Naturally, every one of them has a different role and people will use them differently. It's extremely hard to smash down all the different units to just 10. I tried, and I'll probably look at this months later and disagree, but oh well.

Number 10



The Zerg's Scourge

The Scourge are tiny flying creatures. They are cheap, and spawn two of them from one egg. They produce fast, and are perfect for an emergency air attack. Say a pair of Valkyries are harassing your Overlords, just quickly create these guys, and make quick work of the Valkyrie. The Scourge fly into the enemy, exploding on impact, ending the life of itself and hopefully the opponent. They can also be used as an annoyance themselves. Send an army of them over an enemy Zerg based and wipe out their Overlords. Being fast and agile, they can be used for scouting purposes as well. Their main drawback is the fact they die when they attack, and have a small amount of health. It's really not suggested to take them along on an Ultralisk assault, once they're dead, they're gone. Ground units can also peck them apart, along with any Terran turrets or the other equivalents.

Number 9



The Protoss' Reaver

It's the Protoss equal of a Seige Tank, and rightfully slow. They're extremely slow moving and require the player to actively build ammo for them. But when they fire, everything dies. Their ball of energy they send out does an enormous amount of damage along with the splash damage everywhere. Shuttles are normally paired with them, to move them along faster. But then that leads to the Shuttles dropping them in the enemy base, commonly in the field of workers gathering resources. Even one Reaver has enough power to just kill half of them there with one shot. Sadly, they are an extremely slow unit, and can't attack air units. It's best to use them with Dragoons or other units to counter.

Number 8



The Protoss' Carrier.

Carriers are the super unit of the Protoss (while the Zerg have Ultralisks and the Terran have Battlecruisers). Unlike the other two, the Carrier sits, and sends out little flying ships to attack. Like the Reaver, the player has to actively build it's ammo. The units in Starcraft are programmed to attack whatever is attacking it first. So if left alone, the army will be spinning around, trying to shoot down the little ships while being pecked to pieces. The player has to go in, select the army, then tell them to directly attack each Carrier directly. The Carrier can protect itself by being cloaked by an Arbitor, or hiding over terrain like water. They can also be used to pester the enemy, by attacking the workers in the small side-bases. However, they are easily taken out by Valkyries or other air units. They work better in large groups.

Number 7



The Zerg's Hydralisk/Lurker.

The Hydralisks are a flexible unit. They're useful at any time in the game, easy to make, and normally fight well with other units. They can also mutate and transform into Lurkers. Lurkers hide underground, spiking anything that gets in range. Lurkers are good for defense as well as spying or just being an asshole. Putting them around mineral deposits can destroy a careless play who sends a worker off to start a new base, or to kill a weaker scout like a Zergling. Like Reavers, they can be dropped in an enemy base and cause havoc if the enemy lacks any detectors. The Hydralisks are easily one of the best units to have, but are quickly slaughter by splash damage or certain castings.

Number 6



The Terran's Siege Tank.

The Siege Tank is alright on it's own, but it's best feature to go into Siege Mode. The Tank plants itself on the ground, and becomes a cannon. It can't move or fire at air units (still) but causes major damage, and the splash can hurt your own units. The Tanks are normally boxed in by bunkers, supply depots, and turrets to ensure it's safety. They can also be placed on small mountains and high areas across the map, shooting anything that crosses their path. Like Reavers, they can also be dropped in enemy bases for massive damage. They might be paired with other units or normal Siege Tanks to make sure they're safe. They are massively devastating and have a very long range. The Siege Tanks are not to be messed around with, and can craftily be used for offense and defense.

There's part 1. I did consider just putting both parts together, but I have things to do today. Come back Thursday for the next part.

*The Starcraft post will be next time instead

http://gear.ign.com/articles/107/1079234p1.html

and here's another source in case you hate IGN.

http://www.joystiq.com/2010/03/23/breaking-nintendo-announces-the-3ds-more-news-at-e3/


My reaction: "ok?". No doubt you've noticed the lack of DS reviews on here. Here is the thing, I don't play my DS. I bought the thing mainly for HeartGold and SoulSilver because my old games were dying. But even that I slightly regret because the remakes aren't as ground-breakingly good as FireRed and LeafGreen, but that's another story.

See, the DS mainly has RPG's as it's main type of game, but that's it. I tend to only like western RPG's, so that cuts it down even more for me. The PSP has more games that I like, but sadly, it's more expensive and Sony is still snorting crack by not having a second joystick and fixing the control issues. So news of a new handheld...I don't really care. In fact, I don't even understand why it's so great. I bought my DS with the frame of mind that it had tons of games that everybody would enjoy, because everybody had one. Sadly, I was wrong.

For a split second, let's look at the Top 5 best sellers that I just snagged off Wikipedia.

# Nintendogs All versions (22.27 million)[1]
# New Super Mario Bros. (21.39 million)[2]
# Brain Age: Train Your Brain in Minutes a Day! (18.59 million)[2]
# Mario Kart DS (17.28 million)[2]
# Pokémon Diamond and Pearl (16.81 million)[1]

Really? I played Nintendogs, got bored with it, then went on with life. There is nothing to do in it. I can see why NSMB sold so well. Brain Age baffles me even more because it's just an educational game that they should sell to schools in mass loads. Mario Kart DS I can also see, and I suppose Pokemon fits too. Further down we down more Brain Age, Mario, Zelda, Pokemon, and all first party titles. Now let's look at the PSP.

# Monster Hunter Freedom Unite (3 million shipped in Japan)[147]
# Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories (2,725,507 approximately: 2 million in US,[148] 125,507 in Japan,[149] 600,000 in UK)[34]
# Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII (2.59 million approximately; 830,000 in Japan, 710,000 in North America,[150][151] 550,000 in Europe)[151]
# Daxter (2.3 million)[152]
# Monster Hunter Freedom 2 (2.25 million)[48]

Alright, I know, giggle at the numbers. But at least each title isn't all made by the same company. But this brings me to another point, let's look at the top best selling ever.

1. Wii Play (Wii – 26.71 million)[70]
2. Wii Fit (Wii – 22.56 million)[70]
3. Nintendogs (DS – 22.27 million, all five versions combined)[71]
4. New Super Mario Bros. (DS – 21.39 million)[70]
5. Mario Kart Wii (Wii – 21.22 million)[70]

(The above list didn't count bundles). Ok cool, all Wii and DS games. Three of the five are shit. Wow, ok. That's pretty sad. Can't people just get outside or to the gym? Is it really that hard? And of course, Microsoft and Sony look at the numbers, drool, and then immediately try to re-create that. NO. I don't want Project Natal or Playstation Move (Speaking of which, Playstation Move? What a stupid name.). If Microsoft or Sony does do that, they better have damn fine games to have. They better come up with some alien way to make it work for just about all genres and have quality to the titles. I think Nintendo tends to forget that: it's about the games, not "OHHH, 3D!!!" I don't care about that, I just want something awesome to play. But then again, seeing the above numbers, then who cares? Cranking out cheap shit sells just fine.

I'm not saying we should stick to the same old without ever being brave, as I've mentioned before. I just think Nintendo and the other companies are heading the wrong direction.

Oh, and for those who are bloody excited for the DSi XL, I would stop, and take some thoughts. This new system will be out in a year or two, so do you still want the XL? I'm not shoving my anti-flailing antics around at you, I'm just saying, think money wise.

*I'll be re-doing the Top 10 Useful Starcraft units on Tuesday. That's like the number 1 post people have been slowly commenting on. I agree that I might've judged some of the units unfairly, and that's why I'm doing it again.*

"So, you're not completely stupid after all!"



Released: November 19, 2006 (Wii and Gamecube)
Developer: Nintendo
Publisher: Nintendo
Genre: Adventure
Multiplayer: None

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess was released a while ago, and I know a new Zelda is on the horizon. I also know I've talked about this game before, but I thought we'd go into detail this time.

The player takes control of Link, a Hyrulian living in Ordon village. He is a rancher, herding goats for a living by using his horse, Epona. Link (and the player) is forced to tag along with the village kids and do whatever they command, like the silent obedient protagonist he is. When he is about to leave to give something to the King of Hyrule (I assume anyway), some orc guys attack, steal the village kids, conveniently miss Link, and go on their way. Link is then pulled into "twilight" by a monster, turns into a wolf, meets an imp twilight creature named Midna, takes him to meet the Princess of Hyrule, Zelda, then he gets teleported back to the land of light and ARGH.

Twilight Princess goes about it's story in a very odd manner. Some parts go extremely slow with nothing going on, like the beginning of the game. You're herding goats, rescuing kids, buying a slingshot to appease them, and so on. Then other parts it gets so heavy with the story, like with your first meeting with Zelda. It takes several playthroughs to fully understand what in the world happened. It isn't like in Bayonetta where it all ties up at the end and the player goes "OHHHHHHH, now it all makes sense!" You're still left questioning. Myself, I still don't understand why twilight taking over the land of Hyrule is bad. They can still go on with their lives. Zelda says they live in fear, but of what?



The gameplay is the same as all the other 3D Zelda titles. You control Link in a 3rd person view. He can do many slashes and moves with his sword and shield. He also finds many other items to assist him in his fight against Zant (the King of Twilight, who took over Hyrule). Bombs, a bow, the hookshot clawshot, boomerang, and many other items are collected. Different types of bombs and various ammos is purchased by rupees, the currency in Hyrule. Rupees are found everywhere: in treasure chests, on enemies you kill, under a rock, in some water, everywhere. Link has to solve simple puzzles in the world, slay bosses, and all that fun stuff. It is all very simple. Say there is a rock blocking your path to the next room. You have nothing but a wind boomerang that carries things around, and a bomb plant a few feet away from you. It's going to come quick to throw the boomerang to lift up the bomb and have it land on the rock. Especially since you just got the boomerang. Chances are that if you just got an item, you have to use it for that puzzle/boss.

Link also has another form though. While in the twilight, he transforms into a wolf. Wolf-Link can growl and...that's about it. He growls then acts like Midna's bitch and does whatever she tells him to. Wolf-Link can walk across tiny ropes and use Midna as a guide system to leap across ridiculous jumps and gaps. He can also dig and "sense" objects. His sense ability allows to see the people of Hyrule in non-spirit form (everybody turns into a spirit in the twilight...except Link and Zelda) In this form, he can howl a song at a wolf statue, then return to a certain place as human Link to learn a new attack. Midna is constantly (or trying to) help the player. She is his partner for this game, going where he goes and providing, sometimes, useful tips.


Twilight Princess works like all the other Zelda titles. You do maybe 3 dungeons, get to your "final goal", only to see you have 5 more to do. In-between are either small mini-dungeons or mini-quests (like requesting those damn kids 3 times). There are a number of mini-games and such, but I never touch those. They're there if you like them. Link goal is to free to land from twilight by collecting light bugs, then stopping Zant by finding fused shadows for Midna. After the main game is over, you spend your time doing small quests you skipped (like getting a bigger wallet) or finding heart pieces. After that, you pretty much whistle and start a new game I suppose.

The thing about Twilight Princess, is that it's empty. When you beat the game, you sit there with an empty feeling and are like "What, that's it?" You don't feel powerful or accomplished. One of the end-game items is a whistle that summons Epona anywhere. For the majority of the game, Link has to go, hunt down some special grass, and blow it on it to summon her. Wow, big whoop? In every single other Zelda title with Epona, you got the ability to summon her from wherever right away. But that is pretty much Twilight Princess. Another adventure waiting for a player to beat it. If you're new to the series, just go buy it now, you won't be bothered. I imagine most of the changes (or cuts) would bother players of the previous titles.


Twilight Princess is a very forgettable game. The characters are very bland and just...creepy. They all look stupid in some shape, way, or form. Most of them have copy+pasta personalities. They are either super willing to help Link, or semi-willing. What happened? Just about all of them look ridiculous. Even the kids look all stupid. One is a baby thing, one is a girl-boy thing, one has her eyebrows up to her hair line, the other looks like he was dropped on his head as a baby, and the other one looks normal but she looks too young to be 16. I don't mind challenging gender boundaries, but why do they ALL look like that!? Even the gorons are creepy as hell. Why are their nipples so prominent and rock-hard? In fact, WHY do they have nipples? Don't they reproduce asexually? Midna is one of the few with a concrete personality, you can see it in her speech and motions. She also has the closest thing to voice acting. It's all mumble but it's better than nothing isn't it?

This game has a silly Wind Waker feel to it at times. The awkward character designs and the silly things Link has to do can ruin it. Being shot out of a cannon is cool, but not when the guy operating it looks like a deflated balloon covered in lipstick. The sumo wrestling goron bits are another example. It takes the seriousness of the twilight out when Link is shirtless and rubbing against old man goron breasts.



Another reason why the game feels so empty is the lack of the magic meter or an instrument. The Epona caller you get at the end of the game only does that-call Epona. Why the hell did they cut out those two things? The magic instrument has been in every single Zelda ever, and the magic meter was in every single Zelda after Zelda 2. The wolf parts seem empty and the wolf himself seems pretty useless. There is no extra sword or extra masks or extra anything you can get. You can buy an extra suit, but that's no fun at all. You can't even use what suit you want on the fly. The blue suit is weak to fire and the magic suit sucks up rupees as you use it.

The music isn't memorable either. The only memorable pieces are those recycled from previous Zelda games. Even Midna's theme is just Zelda's theme switched around. It is good to have old pieces of music like that, but the new ones should be awesome as well.


All in all, there isn't much to say about Twilight Princess. It is pretty much a heavily stripped Ocarina of Time. It has many small flaws that build up, which is mainly story related (such as trying to force the player to care about those damn kids), but a few gameplay related. It really feels like a step back instead of forward. Nothing in the game, so nothing to talk about. However, it is there for you if you just want a simple adventure game. That's all it is now, a simple adventure instead of an epic tale.

And as a side note, why is this game rated T? Ocarina of Time had more blood and "violence" than this. The game isn't very dark at all. The twilight itself has terrible music and the blurry squares floating around don't do it justice.

**Look at the end to see the difference between the Wii and GC versions**

+ Simple Gameplay
+ Familiar faces and music
+ Sit down and play quality
+ Midna is one of the best partners ever
- Feels empty and imcomplete
- Nothing extra to do
- Easily forgettable game

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess gets a -4 for the Wii and Gamecube

"What's the difference between the two versions?"
Naturally, the controls are the first thing that comes to mind. The world is flipped for the Wii version. The Wii version has slots for 3 items instead of 2 to be held. And contrary to popular belief, you CAN swing your sword while walking in BOTH versions. In the Wii version, you have to equipped the items before you use them. Pressing the button only makes Link hold them, not use them.

"Why are they rated the exact same?"
At first, I was going to give the Gamecube version a higher score, but decided against it. See, they put off releasing it for a month so give the Wii version more time. TP was originally a GC game. But both versions have stupid shit thrown in. For example: in the Gamecube version, they took away a slot to hold an item, making it 2 instead of 3 like every other Zelda game. Why they just didn't do the Ocarina of Time control scheme? That would've worked perfectly. Then we could've had 3 instead of 2. But the controls are overall superior. The Wii version has it's world entirely flipped. Their reason for this was to "match Link's hand with the players" Link is left handed, so they made him right. Are they fucking stupid? Swinging the Wiimote is just pressing a button, then they flip the entire world? I'm thinking the true reason they did that was to give the game a different feel. But now the world of Hyrule makes no logical sense. Before, it made perfect sense where Hyrule Castle was (in proportion to the other titles) and now it doesn't. But, the Wii version has the option to turn off the cursor so you aim with the joystick instead. And as a result, it also gets that annoying fairy icon off your screen.

Of course, casual fans won't give a crap, and I imagine most fans in general won't because it's Zelda. Still, I feel like they did a poor game with this game and made it feel way too empty. I saw some reviews saying it was the greatest Zelda ever made. What the fuck?